


Careful tending

by rosebayard



Series: Looking after Sebastian [3]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Apologies, Bathing/Washing, Caretaking, Comfort, Coughing, Crying, Fever, Hugs, Hurt Sebastian Michaelis, Hurt/Comfort, Illness, M/M, Protective Sebastian Michaelis, Sick Sebastian Michaelis, Sickfic, Sneezing, Vulnerability, Whump, looking after Sebastian, throwing up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29668500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosebayard/pseuds/rosebayard
Summary: “Are you going to say something more? Stop that-” Ciel scoffed, noticing the edges of Sebastian’s teeth had become sharper as Ciel tried to retrieve the thermometer. “You’ll damage the glass. What, you’re irked with me, are you?”Even through a wide yawn- for this time he couldn’t help it at all- Ciel had to give a soft laugh at Sebastian’s expression, which had abruptly changed from venomous to rather embarrassed. Sebastian raised his hand to cover his mouth somewhat, looking apologetic.“No, not at all,” Sebastian admitted.
Relationships: Sebastian Michaelis & Ciel Phantomhive
Series: Looking after Sebastian [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139456
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46





	Careful tending

**Author's Note:**

> These are all sickfic oneshots that can be read separately, as well as in a set. Thank you so much to everyone who liked these Sebastian fics, it encouraged me to write more! ;-; <3 this takes place after Sebastian is injured in ‘Book of the Atlantic’, and he becomes very ill as a result.
> 
> tw: some descriptions of throwing up

**I**

Sebastian’s illness was worse than he was letting on, of that much Ciel was sure.

While his butler often seemed like his usual, capable self throughout their voyage back to London, there were other times when Sebastian would reluctantly murmur something to Snake, and the two of them would disappear for hours on end. On one of these occasions Ciel’s suspicions got the better of him, and he managed to follow the pair of them to one of the lesser-used washrooms on the ship. There he found Sebastian, his sleeves rolled-up and his arms limp and tangled over the ceramic rim of the toilet, needing Snake to make sure his head was at least vaguely aimed toward the bowl.

Given Sebastian was going to a certain amount of trouble to spare Ciel the sight of him like this, even Ciel couldn’t bring himself to step out and confront them.

_He’s an invulnerable demon. Of course he has his own dignity when he isn’t,_ Ciel huffed to himself, irritated that he was wasting his time on the matter at all.

_He doesn’t want you to be scared,_ another part of Ciel knew.

Ciel glanced back at his butler. Sebastian was panting as he glanced up at the ceiling, his mouth ajar and his gaze unfocused, his only efforts seemed to be attempting to catch a brief moment of reprieve before he was ill again. His face was damp, strands of dark hair plastered to his cheeks, and his chest was hitching unevenly with every breath.

Ciel could see a tear streaking down the side of Sebastian’s nose- he wasn’t crying, exactly, but the sheer force and exhaustion from vomiting had somehow pushed it out of him, and even Sebastian seemed unsure of what to do with it. Clumsily, Sebastian raised his wrist to scuff the tear on the back of his arm, then looked blankly down at it, as if expecting to find some substance other than water.

“Forgive me… I still.. have to,” Sebastian whispered to Snake, trying to lean further forward so that his colleague only need see as little as possible.

“I thought you might…” Snake said, then calmly reached below Sebastian’s shoulders, keeping him steady while Sebastian’s whole body seemed to clench and recoil with the effort of bringing up only a very small amount of black liquid. Sebastian was gasping as it dribbled out of him, and from the agony stricken across his features, Ciel had to wonder just how many times this had happened in order to make him so drained.

“It’s okay. You can hold onto me again if you need to,” Snake was saying, his tone reassuring as Sebastian nodded, then coughed huskily and managed another retch. A longer length of hair, which Sebastian had tried to tuck behind his ears, slipped forward as he gagged.

“Drat… I didn’t.. aim that very well… are you alright?” Sebastian’s voice was weak and out of breath. Ciel could see part of Sebastian’s hair was now dripping with whatever unhallowed substance he kept bringing up. It had splashed on Snake’s hand too, when Snake had tried to help.

“No permanent damage,” said Snake, then gave a kind laugh to ease Sebastian’s regret. “We have the soap and wash-bucket here too, for when you’re done.”

Ciel quietly slipped away, an unfamiliar heaviness weighing in his chest.

-

Later, even though he didn’t intend it, Ciel felt he was being particularly stiff and unhelpful as Sebastian dressed him in his nightclothes. Any further disasters notwithstanding, it would be their last evening aboard the ship before making port in London.

“My… such a long face,” Sebastian commented wryly, his expression an amused smirk as he tugged Ciel into his nightshirt. “Has life as a gentleman at sea grown on you that much? I might’ve thought you’d be pleased to return home. Or at the very least, not turn a certain shade of green every time there’s the slightest breeze on the water.”

_Damn. So he knew about that too,_ Ciel thought, trying his best to keep his glare in check and not confirm Sebastian’s impudent teasing word for word. From Sebastian’s cheerful smile, Ciel could already guess that he wasn’t doing a very good job of it.

Ciel crossed his arms, waiting for Sebastian’s inevitable comment that a gentleman also shouldn’t eavesdrop on his servants in the washroom. Instead, Sebastian merely wrangled himself around Ciel’s standoffish posture with ease, expertly manoeuvring each of Ciel’s hands through a sleeve of his dressing gown, then tying a neat bow with the fastening cord at Ciel’s front. Sebastian was certainly looking spry for someone who had barely been able to stand only hours before, Ciel thought with annoyance.

“There we go. All snug and ready for bed,” said Sebastian, still beaming as he remained knelt at Ciel’s side. Deciding Sebastian’s purposeful coddling was infinitely more infuriating than being chastised for manners, this time Ciel made no attempt to conceal a heated scowl aimed in Sebastian’s direction.

Any retort Ciel intended to make was lost, however, as Sebastian fixed him with a rather odd look, then tried to duck towards his fist as he gave a desperate-sounding sneeze. Sebastian’s opposite hand jumped to clutch his injured chest as he snapped forward, the exertion hurting him more than it should.

Ciel could only stare in disbelief. Sebastian glanced up at him, blinking as if still comprehending what happened. Ciel had always supposed that it was _possible_ for Sebastian to experience such things- he bled like any other human when he was in his human form, after all- but seeing it was another matter, and sounded a great deal more miserable than Ciel had expected.

“Ugh. Use a handkerchief next time,” Ciel snapped. Rather than waiting for Sebastian’s help, Ciel pulled back his own blankets and nestled them firmly around his shoulders as he turned away, thoroughly fed up of Sebastian’s nonsense for one night.

“Indeed. That was… quite an oversight of mine. I apologise,” Sebastian said sincerely. Ciel heard the demon carefully get to his feet, hesitate, then quietly cross the floor of Ciel’s cabin, stepping out into the passageway and gently closing the door behind.

Sebastian managed to walk quite a way through the ship’s interior before he leant against the wall and allowed himself to cough a few times. Ciel could hear the distant echo of it. Since Sebastian wasn’t heading for the upper decks, Ciel could only surmise he was hurrying back to the same washroom where Ciel had found him earlier that day.

Ciel turned over, once and then again. As much as he tried, sleep didn’t come to him that night.

**II**

“Our master’s always been a kind one, worrying over us eh? But it’s just a bit of a fever, our Sebastian will sweat it out like anyone else.” Bardroy grinned at Ciel as he spurred their horses and carriage onward, Ciel bouncing uncomfortably on the driver’s seat next to him.

It was an entirely improper place for any Earl to sit, truth be told. But even more undignified was the seat Sebastian had chosen- right on the outer footman’s bench at the rear, his long legs hanging loosely toward the ground.

“I’m not worried,” Ciel muttered, glancing behind him as the carriage lurched forward once more. Snake and Finnian were sitting either side of the luggage bench too, ready to stop Sebastian from falling off if he decided he was going to be ill again.

To his credit, Sebastian had managed to keep down his nausea throughout the entire first length of the journey, not willing to disgrace the name of Phantomhive by being openly sick anywhere in London’s busier districts. But now that they were well on their way through the countryside, Ciel could occasionally hear his butler retching at a volume that even made Ciel’s stomach turn a little.

“Poor Sebastian!” Finny moaned, and Ciel frowned, trying to keep his eyes fixed on the road ahead. Even over the rattling of the carriage, it sounded like Sebastian’s insides were being torn from his throat. There was an anguish to the sound of it that made Ciel wince, he felt he could nearly hear Sebastian’s voice in each retch, as if he was pushing and fighting to be rid of his sickness, however difficult that was proving to be.

Sebastian reluctantly ducked over his knees with a last mouthful of sick, then gave a few tired-sounding coughs. A moment later, Sebastian exploded into a far more forceful coughing fit that startled even Bardroy, who pulled up the reins on both horses and looked ready to leap to the rescue if Sebastian was choking.

“S-Sebastian, I’m sorry!” Finny wailed at the top of his lungs, bursting into tears as Ciel hopped down from the carriage and stormed round the back. “I… I just meant to gently t-touch your shoulder… t-to help you cough… I’m so sorry, S-S-Sebast-”

“Finny, please go sit up front with Bardroy,” Ciel said, making every effort to withhold the exasperation in his tone. Finny had already bawled his eyes out after seeing them safely returned from the doomed voyage, and Ciel hardly wished for a repeat of the outburst. “Snake, please take a rest inside the carriage. I’ll sit outside here with Sebastian.”

Sebastian coughed a few more times into the back of his glove, his clear relief at Ciel’s first instruction turning to a frown as he heard the second.

“Young master, it’s getting a little cold-”

“Then we’d better get moving, hadn’t we?” Ciel spoke over him. Finny and Snake had attended to his wishes quickly enough, so Ciel simply fixed Sebastian with a rather icy glare. Sebastian stared back at him in surprise, then regretfully raised his arm and knocked on the top of the carriage to signal Bardroy. The horses once again started walking, and Sebastian sat a little further back on the bench, now more concerned with steadying Ciel if the ride became too bouncy.

“I wouldn’t have thought you had anything left to throw-up by now,” Ciel sighed, gazing resolutely at the muddy path behind them rather than looking at Sebastian. Ciel suspected the symptom was more to do with purging toxins from the Shinigami’s attack than Sebastian’s stomach, and he doubted Sebastian liked it any more than he could help it.

“Mm. Death scythe wounds-” Sebastian broke off coughing, the sound of it more painful and hollow than Ciel remembered. Sebastian seemed aware of it too, for instead of holding onto the carriage, he looked far more desperate to cover his mouth with both hands, trying to muffle the empty, echoing sound. Ciel didn’t like to see Sebastian’s shoulders jumping around like that, nor Sebastian’s eyes watering above his steepled fingertips, his eyebrows crumpling with the effort.

"Do you need a pat on the back?" Ciel muttered, and Sebastian nodded as he fiercely held his injured chest again, his eyes squeezed shut as one palm remained firmly clamped over his mouth.

“…death scythe wounds… and demons… are a terrible mix, I’m afraid,” Sebastian gasped, then took a few careful breaths as he fought to recover. “I’m quite ashamed to have made our journey back so abysmal.”

Ciel stared away at the countryside as the carriage rocked beneath him. There was a slight mist gathering around the foothills, which they would hopefully avoid provided they made no further stops. Rain had begun to dust over Ciel’s hat too, collecting in tiny, glistening beads on his woollen jacket.

“Please put this on,” Sebastian said quietly, and Ciel broke from his thoughts to look at him. Sebastian had already taken off his overcoat and was holding it over Ciel’s shoulders, not waiting for an answer.

Ciel felt strangely numb. If he’d been expecting any sort of comforting scent of Sebastian, or at least a sense of a familiar presence, there was nothing. The only sign that the demon had been wearing it was the warmth that Ciel felt around his back and arms, which quickly faded against Ciel’s own freezing limbs.

Did demons even leave a trace when they died? Ciel’s thoughts drifted to the room he once allocated to Sebastian as a member of his staff, which still looked as bare and unoccupied as the day Sebastian first carried him home.

“I do apologise… it’s the same coat I was wearing throughout our journey, though I did take pains to keep it clean. But perhaps, if you could please humour me… oh dear-”

Sebastian glanced away from Ciel, overcome by a sneeze that one would expect from someone cold-ridden and in bed, rather than sitting in the rain in a light shirt and waistcoat. Sebastian sniffled, then gave a small, abashed smile.

“…didn’t I tell you to use a handkerchief?” Ciel grumbled, unimpressed.

“Ah. So you did. My apologies again, I didn’t mean any harm,” Sebastian offered politely, looking all the more satisfied as Ciel’s expression darkened.

“If this is part of some ill-advised plan to try and make me get back in the carriage, it won’t work,” Ciel said curtly. “I’d rather the fresh air.”

“It isn’t. Forgive me if it seemed that way,” Sebastian said softly, his smile a little gentler as he shook his head. After a few moments, the tension seemed to drain from Ciel’s shoulders, and he relented to wrapping the overcoat more snugly around his small frame, allowing Sebastian this at least.

Sebastian took a small handkerchief from the pocket of his waistcoat, then kept it neatly folded between his hands, just in case.

-

Sebastian squinted, gasping in reflex as a bucket of soapy water was unceremoniously emptied over his hair and shoulders. He was sitting in a large wooden bathing tub in only his trousers and shirt, Finny’s arms wrapped around his chest to help keep him upright.

“There we go now. Gave us quite a scare on the way back, you did,” Bardroy chuckled, enthusiastically sloshing another full bucket of water over Sebastian’s head in a manner that made Sebastian think he was rather enjoying it.

Sebastian sighed, feeling that keeping still was the least he could do to make it up to them. He relented to fixing Bard with an unimpressed glare through his wet bangs, which only seemed to cheer up their resident chef even further.

“Sebastian sir!? Are you feeling any better yet?” Finny blurted, still clinging to Sebastian’s drenched clothing. “Do you have any voice left? I’ve never seen someone be so sick like that! Not that you have to worry, you couldn’t help it! And it’s better to get it out of your system-”

“Thank you, Finny, I’m feeling a little better, yes,” Sebastian murmured, feeling an unfamiliar chagrin creeping across his cheeks in spite of the cold water. “More importantly, is the Earl alright?”

In spite of Ciel’s best efforts to conceal it, the young lord been chilled to the bone by the end of their journey. No longer in any state to refuse, Sebastian had simply picked him up and deposited him inside the carriage, where in Sebastian’s opinion, his master should’ve remained in the first place.

“Snake, if Sebastian goes back outside, please sit with him…” Ciel had said weakly, when Sebastian started coughing to wake the dead.

“I never thought either of you should be sitting outside,” Snake replied bluntly in surprise. “…says Emily.”

And so, Sebastian had remained at his master’s side in the shelter of the carriage, trying to muffle his cough in his shirt collar and feeling rather worried that his companions were exhausted enough to sleep through such a racket.

_Good grief… I’d certainly not allow a human in their presence if he sounded like this,_ Sebastian thought to himself, secure at least in the knowledge that his condition wasn’t transmissible. Demon or no, his head was spinning with every cough, and the more he tried to hold back the fits, the worse it seemed when they eventually burst out of him unchecked. His chest was aching.

“Hey… you okay there?” Snake had asked, genuine care in his tone when Sebastian took a shuddering breath, coughing horribly towards the empty seat in front of him and clutching Snake’s elbow in alarm. Snake had seen the expression enough times by now to know, and they both hurriedly reached for the carriage door, trying to unjam the safety mechanism in what little time Sebastian had to spare.

The door unlatched a few seconds too late, and Sebastian had half-vomited over himself in his efforts to save the interior of the carriage, then stumbled onto the gravel outside, feeling like he was suffocating. The last thing he saw was Ciel yelling and clambering out after him, making a scene undeserving of a servant, however unwell he happened to be. But Sebastian didn’t miss the fraught, desperate look in Ciel’s gaze, as if he couldn’t be certain of anything anymore.

Sebastian hadn’t even been able to tell him he was sorry.

“C’mon, raise your arms,” Bardroy was saying to him, and Sebastian’s thoughts tugged gloomily back to the present as Bard and Finny continued soaping and scrubbing him down with far too much energy. Sebastian was pretty sure he’d seen Bard banging a ladle against the soup pot with greater gentleness than he was currently being washed with- in fact, Sebastian was _absolutely_ sure that the scrubbing brush currently being used on his hair was in fact intended for scouring grease from dirty dishes.

“The master’s doing just fine, don’t you worry yourself about that!” Finny was assuring him. “We had a hot dinner all set and ready… well… his appetite wasn’t much though… but we made sure his room was nice and warm with a fire!” Finny finished despairingly, seeing Bard had shot him a quick warning growl.

Sebastian slumped even further forward into the bath, the lengths of his hair nearly touching the water. He watched a droplet of water drip miserably from the tip of his nose, then his inhale hitched reluctantly as he found himself caught-up in a sneeze. Sebastian blinked at the surface of the tub, clearing his throat in apology. He was worrying everyone enough as it was.

“Aw. Sounds like he’s almost good as new,” Bardroy joked, standing back with his hands on his hips. Bard still looked rather proud of his efforts as he grinned at his drowned-looking colleague. “How’s my bedside manner, Sebastian sir?”

From the roguish wink Bard gave him, Sebastian could be fairly certain the question was only intended in jest.

“As long as you dry me with a towel, and not anything containing explosives, we’ll call it a job well done,” Sebastian said congestedly, feeling something close to glad when his answer made Bard snort with a laugh.

“Ooh no, gesundheit!” exclaimed Finny, when Sebastian sneezed towards the water again. He’d have to get a far better grip on the reflex before attending his young master. “Sebastian sir, let’s get you out of there before you really do catch a cold- Snake said you’re only just getting over one.”

With Finny and Bard hooking one of their arms under each of Sebastian’s, the demon found himself hoisted out of the tub, then half-marched toward a set of warm towels and clean clothes. While Sebastian could hardly fault them for taking their role in tending him to heart, at this rate little else around the manor was likely to get done.

“You’ve both looked after me very well, you have my thanks,” Sebastian murmured, then quickly stifled a cough in his fist. “Now, for allocating the rest of this evening’s duties-”

Sebastian’s instructions were abruptly cut short when his two fellow servants saw fit to throw their arms around him, hugging him from either side like they’d never let go.

“We were so frightened when we heard news of a sunken ship!” Finny wailed, his voice trembling.

“I knew you’d pull through… damn well knew it… but it wasn’t easy… thinking about it…” Bard muttered gruffly.

Sebastian let the life be squeezed out of him for a few moments more, before he gently extricated his arms, thinking it might be awfully unfair to return the hug and set loose the tears the two of them were so desperately holding back. Sebastian settled for kindly petting both of them on the head while they cried anyway.

“I know,” Sebastian said gently. It wasn’t until then that he noticed his gloves had been off the entire time he had been in the bath, and neither of his colleagues, curious and overly honest though they were, had even felt the need to question him on it. He patted them again, something strange pulling within him. “I know. I’m sorry.”

**III**

It was quiet back in the manor. Though Sebastian had been doing his best aboard the ship, Ciel had woken all too many times to the sound of him choking, or stumbling out of the room, or once being ill through his hand and onto the washroom floor, when he didn’t have anyone to hold him up. Sebastian had always changed the dressings on his wound in private too, but living in close quarters aboard the ship, Ciel hadn’t missed the way Sebastian tried not to wince whenever he moved his body the wrong way.

Now, Sebastian was being cared for by the rest of the household, and Ciel didn’t wish to concern himself with the matter further. The worst they could do was attempt to feed his ailing demon a few human meals or cups of tea, and Sebastian would probably only find it amusing if Ciel implied this was something he couldn’t handle.

Still, it was quiet.

Irritated, Ciel kicked back his blankets. It wasn’t worth working himself into this foul a mood over something he could easily resolve himself. He didn’t deal in excuses or explanations, and he certainly didn’t owe them to anyone, least of all himself.

_And if I don’t order him to remain in bed, he’ll certainly find some bloody task to attend to anyway,_ Ciel thought. Thoroughly vexed, Ciel threw open his door, his feet bare and a single candle in hand, only to find Sebastian looking surprised, his knuckles half-raised to knock. He was dressed impeccably in his usual tailcoat, and Ciel could see the silver trolley at his side had been laid with a late-night supper and pot of warm milk. The shadows beneath Sebastian’s eyes were the only tell that he was weary, but even these seemed to fade as his expression became earnest.

“Young Master,” Sebastian said mildly. “Haven’t I mentioned that a good night’s rest, free from wandering around the manor-”

“ _What are you doing?!_ ” Ciel bellowed, his voice echoing down the empty hall. If he’d hoped to wipe that unaffected expression off Sebastian’s face with his temper, it only seemed to achieve the opposite. Sebastian lowered his head and touched his fingertips to his chest in a gesture of apology, though his smile hardly made him look chided.

“I was informed that you didn’t eat much at dinner. Though given it was Bard’s special, perhaps I cannot blame you…” Sebastian murmured, a touch of despair entering his expression as he frowned. “And you were freezing after sitting outside the carriage, which suffice to say was also my fault. So, to allow my master to go to bed cold and hungry-”

“- _okay! …_ okay, I get it!” Ciel yelled, cutting Sebastian off. Ciel knew he wasn’t in the most patient frame of mind, but even he was caught off-guard by the anger that abruptly welled-up in him, from where he didn’t know. Ciel pushed the heels of his palms against his eyes, then raked his fingers through his hair, breathing hard as he tried to calm himself. He’d fallen to his knees before he’d realised what he was doing.

“Young Master…” Sebastian’s voice was gentle as he carefully knelt on the ground. Sebastian sank down to sit on his heels, so that to Ciel, he didn’t loom quite as tall. They sat like that for what seemed like a long time, Ciel slowly trying to collect himself. Sebastian kept his mouth firmly closed as a few light coughs overtook him, then tried to smile as Ciel looked up.

“Sebastian…?” Ciel’s voice sounded haunted as he stared at Sebastian’s face, and the small, sad trickle of blood that quietly leaked from one side of his butler’s nose. At first Sebastian didn’t seem aware of it, before he caught-on to Ciel’s confusion, and tentatively raised his hand to his face. Ciel stared at the tiny droplets of blood staining Sebastian’s glove, and all of a sudden, it felt almost like a relief to sob. He didn’t even know why he did it- he was sure his body had given up on useless things like crying a long time ago- but even while tears wouldn’t shed from his eyes, Ciel couldn’t help the shuddering sobs that seem to seize him by his chest, his shoulders twitching as he hiccupped.

Sebastian didn’t say anything, but Ciel felt the demon’s arms gently close around him, and then the familiar sensation of being lifted off the ground like he was weightless. It had been a long time since Sebastian had heard his human make such a helpless sound, and Ciel found he couldn’t do anything at all to control it. He didn’t bother to hide his face in Sebastian’s jacket, or muffle any of the wailing that even Ciel himself found inexcusable. He sounded completely exhausted, and felt like a complete fool for crying while nearly face to face with Sebastian.

“Goodness me. Such a scene, and not even any tears, hm?” Sebastian brushed his thumb to Ciel’s cheeks, but his master’s eyes were completely dry. “There now…” Sebastian hushed, raising his hand and giving Ciel a slow, careful pat on the back. Ciel’s shoulders weren’t all that wider than the span of Sebastian’s palm and fingers, and Sebastian gave a small, sympathetic click of his tongue as he patted the young master again. Ciel continued sobbing without recourse, particularly as Sebastian hadn’t had time to properly wipe the blood from his nose. Sebastian seemed to realise this too, and he politely gathered up a spare cloth napkin from Ciel’s supper tray, then pinched it over his face.

“Pardon me. Any better?” asked Sebastian, turning back to Ciel for inspection. The bleeding seemed to have stopped as quickly as it started. With an easy movement of his arms, Sebastian folded the napkin away, then shifted Ciel so that he could rub his back more easily. Ciel knew he should be annoyed, but Sebastian seemed to be making a low hushing noise more out of habit than to patronise him, and for all his turmoil, Ciel found he wasn’t above feeling soothed.

“Shh-h… there now… dear me, we make quite the pair right now, don’t we?” Sebastian murmured gently, chuckling a little as he managed to end his sentence with a woeful splutter of coughs. Ciel was meanwhile sniffling badly, horrified that his nose had started running even after his bout of crying was almost done. Sebastian kept holding him, slowly walking around the room with his small master.

“You know… I didn’t think you’d be able to cheer me much, since I’ve been ill,” Sebastian said quietly, as if only now trying to process the thought himself. “I certainly didn’t think I’d feel comforted, humiliating myself and… well. You can hardly say demons aren’t vile creatures, given what you’ve seen me do. Ah, excuse me-”

Ciel, who had been attempting to discreetly wipe his nose, paused when Sebastian coughed a little too hard. After the incident in the carriage, Ciel found himself abruptly cupping his hand below Sebastian’s mouth, in case the latter was going to gag right in the middle of his bedroom. It wouldn’t be much help if Sebastian was going to bring up another river of sick, but he didn’t want Sebastian to feel like he had to keep-in the foul substance either. Sebastian seemed startled enough by Ciel’s reaction that he managed to supress the reflex, panting as he stifled a low hiccup behind his own hand instead.

“ _I beg your pardon_ ,” Sebastian said breathlessly, looking dismayed. Another warning hiccup followed close behind, and Sebastian twisted his face away from Ciel, an uncomfortable sweat lighting on his cheeks. “I may have to put you down now, young master. And to think I came here with the hope of encouraging you to eat something. I’d best take my leave, before-”

“You’re fine, Sebastian,” Ciel said thickly, finally reclaiming a semblance of composure in spite of his stuffy voice. “Try to breathe… we can get a new rug, if we have to.”

Sebastian took a few worried steps toward the fireplace before he coughed again, apparently feeling that in an emergency, the hearth would at least be preferable to the ornate carpet. He seemed to have completely forgotten to put Ciel down, and was holding him close with a slightly panicked expression instead. Ciel wondered if Sebastian had always gotten so fevered just before he was about to be sick, his chest and arms suddenly felt unbearably warm.

“It hasn’t been pleasant, recovering from this wound… to say the least,” Sebastian gasped. He opened his mouth as his body retched noiselessly, bringing up nothing except a pitiful string of saliva, which Ciel quickly wiped away. “And yet. You’ve been kind. I hadn’t thought I could appreciate things like that. And yet here we are. And I do.”

Sebastian’s eyes squeezed shut as he half-collapsed in front of the hearth, his knees in the cooling ash and his hands clutching the sides of the mantlepiece for support. He gagged wrenchingly again, his body straining with the convulsion.

“-guh… it feels.. ghastly,” Sebastian whispered, his expression tortured and his pallor draining as he leaned into Ciel’s shoulder.

“Yeah. It does,” Ciel murmured gently, he had been there enough times in his childhood to know. Pressing a cold hand to Sebastian’s temple, he tried to ease him into a better position, so he didn’t hurt himself with his vomit. “But try to bear with it a little longer, if you can. Just one last time. I’m here.”

-

Later, Sebastian wore a pale, deathly expression as Ciel placed a thermometer beneath his tongue. Ciel had spent the last hour shovelling every last remaining coal and soiled piece of wood from his fireplace, forbidding Sebastian from injuring himself further with the work. When he had returned from disposing of it, Ciel found Sebastian had taken the liberty of preparing his master a warm bath- Ciel was covered in ash and soot after all- only for Sebastian to throw-up violently into the bath water too, right when he was trying to soap Ciel’s hair.

“And what are you hoping to gain from that?” Sebastian rasped weakly, staring down at the glass mercury thermometer sticking out of his mouth. The demon was laying stiffly atop Ciel’s mattress on the young Lord’s orders, his hair still damp and soaking into Ciel’s pillow.

“Perhaps a little satisfaction, since I know how annoying it is,” Ciel said with an arcane smile, which had the intended effect of making Sebastian chuckle, then close his eyes once more. The mercury point confirmed that he was still running a bad fever, no matter how resilient his butler seemed.

“Sorry, Sebastian,” Ciel said quietly, then leaned down and rested his ear to listen to Sebastian’s chest, taking care not to put any of his weight on the bright scar where Sebastian’s bandages had once been. A few days ago, the scar had been an open wound, and all things considered, Sebastian had done well to heal it as far as he had.

Understanding, Sebastian gently moved the thermometer to the side of his mouth, then muffled a few quiet coughs into the palm of his hand. To Ciel, they sounded tired and hoarse, but nothing like the drenched crackling from their voyage back.

“Good. I don’t think the wound is leaking into your lungs anymore,” Ciel said, biting down on a yawn that threatened to escape him, he was beyond exhausted too. “I expect that means the vomiting will subside soon as well.”

“That would be a most welcome change,” Sebastian agreed, losing himself in thought for a moment. Ciel had placed a small tin basin at his bedside for the time being.

“Are you going to say something more? Stop that-” Ciel scoffed, noticing the edges of Sebastian’s teeth had become sharper as Ciel tried to retrieve the thermometer. “You’ll damage the glass, or get mercury in your mouth. What, you’re irked with me, are you?”

Even through Ciel’s wide yawning- for this time he couldn’t help it at all- Ciel had to give a soft laugh at Sebastian’s expression, which had abruptly changed from venomous to rather embarrassed. Sebastian raised his hand to cover his mouth somewhat, looking apologetic.

“No, not at all,” Sebastian admitted.

“Well then?” Ciel pushed, amused enough not to let him off the hook.

“…I’m sorry to have put you to this trouble,” Sebastian said, his eyes growing heavy, before shuttering closed. “You’re sleepy, and worried.”

Ciel let Sebastian’s underlying point remain unsaid- _and a little bit emotional-_

“…and so, I suppose I was feeling protective,” Sebastian sighed, then raised his fist and coughed again, mistakenly turning toward Ciel, as if unconsciously seeking some sort of comfort too. Ciel hesitated, then reached for the blanket beside him, unfolding it and lightly pulling the fabric around Sebastian's front. 

“…Sebastian?”

Sebastian’s chest rose and fall more heavily, his expression momentarily becoming harsh as he shivered, shadowed in unease.

“I’ll stay with you until…” Ciel muttered, then frowned as he suspected asking a demon to fall asleep for more than one night a year might prove too much. Ciel watched as Sebastian raised his palm to his damaged chest. Finding nothing- or at least no one sleeping next to him- Sebastian curled his hand tighter into the loose buttons on his shirt instead, as if needing something to hold onto. His black nails dug into the material too viciously to look untroubled, and to Ciel, the gesture only made him look lost.

“I’ll stay with you,” said Ciel.

**IV**

It had been a week since they returned to the manor. Bundled in an oddly thick coat that his master claimed to have happened-upon in the closet, Sebastian found himself politely standing to attention while Prince Soma sprinted up the front steps and flung himself over the reluctant Earl.

“Ciel, I came as soon as I heard you were back! I’m so relieved you’re safe and sound!” Prince Soma was exclaiming. Ciel’s glare of dire objection was enough to make Sebastian beam, and he watched as their guest took it upon himself to enthusiastically drag Ciel back inside.

One way or another, Sebastian was sure his master might at least find the prince to be brighter company than the sick demon he had been tending for the last week.

“I’m grateful to see you’re safe too, my friend. Not that there was ever any doubt,” Agni called to Sebastian, raising his arm to wave over the tower of bags he was unloading from the carriage. His expression was warm and entirely free of any expectation, his eyes creasing with a smile as Sebastian stared at him in return.

Without knowing what Sebastian truly was, did Agni really have that much faith that he’d be able to return the young lord home?

Sebastian took a few steps down the landing, feeling he’d be entirely remiss in his duties to allow Agni to carry the luggage alone. Then, Sebastian’s pace became a more determined stride as he crossed the gravelled driveway. Agni looked at Sebastian curiously, the butler so seldom held such a severe expression on his face.

“Sebastian?”

“Please, put those down. You’ve had a long journey,” Sebastian said sternly, holding his arms out for the cases. Agni gave a laugh of surprise, before he breathed out with a joyful, genuine smile, not so easily discouraged.

“I’m glad you’re well too,” Agni said earnestly. Truth be told, the trust Agni placed in him was sometimes painful for a demon, but Sebastian still found he wanted to endure it.

“I should express my thanks to the Earl Phantomhive as well,” said Agni, his voice kind and almost teasing, he knew Sebastian well enough by now. “I heard you were ill. He must’ve taken good care of you.”

Sebastian gave a rueful chuckle. For Agni to have heard such embarrassing news, his young master must’ve accidentally made mention of it to the prince. It seemed his young lord had been worried indeed.

“He did,” Sebastian murmured, his voice quieting. “He was very caring. Perhaps more than I deserve.”

When Sebastian met Agni’s gaze, he saw only acceptance, and a deep, heartfelt empathy that seemed to stretch beyond his single human lifetime.

“That’s up to you, _khansama_ ,” Agni said softly. “Our masters give us the chance to defeat our old selves every day. If anyone has that strength, I know it’s you.”

Sebastian stared at him in surprise. Slowly, Agni took one of Sebastian’s gloved hands- the cursed one- so it happened- and clasped it between both of his own, free from doubt or hesitation. Sebastian desperately wanted to squeeze back.

“I’d thank you not to make my poor butler cry,” Ciel said wryly. Sebastian blinked a little as he realised the young lord had managed to approach them at all.

“I’m dreadfully sorry!” Agni laughed, giving a bow of respect to the Earl even though Ciel was clearly teasing. “And Sebastian too, my apologies!”

“Not at all, it’s... quite fine,” Sebastian murmured, then smiled. He leant down and gently lifted his young master from the ground, carrying Ciel on his hip as he turned back to the manor. “Allow me to prepare some sweets to go with the tea. I’ll send our new footman, Snake, for the luggage.”

Walking up the front steps, Sebastian tentatively wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand, still supporting Ciel in his other arm. There was really no reason to have carried him, other than a bad habit, but Ciel allowed it, placing his hand at Sebastian’s back as Sebastian sniffled.

_A demon’s nature is not so easily changed. And neither is the young lord’s,_ Sebastian thought. And yet…

“It’s alright, Sebastian,” Ciel said softly. Ciel gathered the arm he had looped around Sebastian tighter, so that Sebastian's head momentarily bumped against his shoulder. “What on earth did he say to you? Shall I have him answer to me? Hush now, I’m only joking. Here, you look far more dignified than me, at least. Come, it’s alright…”

Sebastian gave a soft laugh, his smile watery as he finished drying his eyes. Then he took a shaky breath and smiled more kindly, holding Ciel close as they walked into the manor.

-

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! ;w; I hope you enjoyed, comments or kudos are always loved and appreciated! <3


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